PJ - Pig Hunter 06/27/2008
 

I guess I should start this by saying that I am still not a great fan of hunting for the fun of it - but when it gets you a fridge full of yummy pork chops, bacon and salami (and helps to control the population of what really is a pest round these here parts) then my morals soon go out the window.
Anyway - last weekend, after watching in almost total silence as England got an absolute battering from those pesky All Blacks, Craig and Campbell invited me out on an early morning pig hunt. Not one to enjoy lounging around in a warm bed when I could be up and at 'em before dawn on a frosty Sunday I obviously said yes.
The basic premise is that you drive up into the hills/forest in your 4x4 with 2 or 3 'pig dogs' sat on the back of the truck smelling for pigs. Once the dogs jump off the truck, run into the forest and start to go crazy you jump out, get your knife and gun ready then go and see what all the barking is about. Good pig dogs don't do any real harm to the pigs at all - they just chase them around till they get one cornered then 'bail' it - basically barking at it to keep it trapped in a corner.
So - this is what happened - Campbell and I jumped out of the truck and dove head first into the scrub/woods/gorse to see what was going on. After a short scramble up a hill we found the dogs bailing a smallish (120lbs maybe) pig - which looked like it wasn't going to give up without a bit of a fight (can't blame it really). So - Campbell jumps on it, I stand around looking like I am ready for action should it be needed, until Campbell tells me, whilst wrestling the brute, to get his knife. After trying to hand it to him (he was a bit pre-occupied) he kindly asked me to stick it  in the pig. He obviously hasn't met too many ponce's from Leeds so I gave him a quick speech about how I would love to but I had just had a manicure and my designer overalls weren't guaranteed pig blood stain resistant. Being the true man he is Campbell took care of proceedings, which actually only took about 3 seconds from knife in to lights out. He then gutted the thing there and then, made me eat the heart (not really) and we were off home to skin and butcher the thing.
We were back by 9am!
So - as I tuck into the most lovely roast I am in two minds about 'the hunt'. Firstly it was nice to be out and about with some friends doing something that doesn't involve babies. Secondly pigs are without doubt a pest (apparently a pair of pigs can have up to 20 offspring per year and they have no natural predators) and need controlling - hunting is a much more eco friendly way than poisoning and much more humane than traps. Thirdly the meat tastes fantastic and the local butcher will make it into sausages, salami etc. - not a lot goes to waste. So, all in all, I have no qualms.
I can't imagine I will ever be able to do the actual killing or butchering (man, the thing stank, absolutely wreaked, of cider. I couldn't work it out but obviously its down to the fruit and wood that the things munch on) and the skill with the knife Craig and Campbell have only comes from a life of contryfied living. But, the chase was fun and the rewards are mighty tasty so I'll be there offering advice and looking pretty any time I'm asked. Maybe I can get myself a bugle and some red britches what what.
Cheerio


 


Comments

Roy and Celia

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 02:19:05


What a brilliant story, just the thing to give us a fascinating insight into your new lifestyle, sounds good to us. Hunting and killing our food is something that will come in very useful when/if the Hard Times Roll...and they are rolling in very fast over here in rainsoaked Lancashire.
Next time, get the knife into the beast yourself, it's a life-skill thing!!!
Yes, sorry 'we' let the side down with the rugby , the cricket isn't much better either, you must be losing face fast.
Love the 'article' and especially the picture of you and Piggy. XXX

 

JP

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 04:23:29

I'm glad to see, that despite your lack of inclination to provide for your family via the conventional method of a job, that you have finally brought the bacon in.

 

jk

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:26:39

by the looks of the photo the pig gave you a good kicking in the face and knocked a couple your teeth out. i assume she did this when she'd been killed. or are you just trying to look like the rest of the locals to fit in? or a nod to Galstonbury this weekend? ooh arr. you'll soon be up in the hills with sharpened sticks, blowing your honch and cooking the carcass on a fire lit by flints.

 

JP

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 17:46:00

JK- You are a teacher, whatever happened to capital letters at the start of sentences, punctuation etc?

Why, just because you are writing something on the internet, does it give you an excuse to rape and degrade the basics of the English language?

 

PJ

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 13:45:19

Gosh John - where does all this anger come from?

It cud b worse, Joe cud b ritin in the styl ov a modn yoof - bleve it or nt this is how mum rites her txt's.

Pce

 

CJ

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 03:41:57



Just read jk's comments Paul,.....what did I tell you?! Keep Flossing!! They were GLEAMING last time I saw you.

 

kay

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 07:50:43

Yuk, Yuk, Yuk.....You Pig!!

 

PJ

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 14:32:38

I can tell your all worried about my dental health - you'll be please to know they are still gleaming pearl white - must have been some muck/blood/guts - who knows these days.

 

JK

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 13:03:35

i'm not a teacher JP, i'm an educaton consultant for Emotional health and Wellbeing so i can punctuate how i want and confer with PJ on your anger issues. some emotional literacy work and counselling to bring out your inner issues (though we all know what they are) would be a recommendation

 

Coppers

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 17:35:08

Hahahahahaha! Top story PJ!

One day I too hope to have a picture on my living room wall of me with a dead pig on my back. Can there be anything more manly?!

I really think that you need to practise your knifing technique before lending a hand in that area. Thrusting a razor sharp knife towards a struggling heap of man and pig is best done unless you know what you're doing - you might end up with a trip down to A&E, or to the local nick on charges of manslaughter, rather than with a tasty, dead pig.

I suggest you get Lisa to trash around in your garden with some of Buster's toys, then you dive in with the knife and see if you hit stuffing or not.

Oink!

 



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